we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
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YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
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Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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