i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
