i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I party with great urgency now.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize