suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
