just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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