Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize