I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
