why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
