At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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