matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
