p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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