two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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