the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
