Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
