He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
