there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
