He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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