pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
