Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
