R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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