idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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