How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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