sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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