having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
