Nicole vs. Life
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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