I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
