Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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