Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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