found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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