...so i touched it.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
