is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
