So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
