HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
