Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Send help, water and tortillas.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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