Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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