guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Randomize
