Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
