She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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