Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What a dumb baby whore.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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