you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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