Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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