Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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