oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
