Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
