what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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