i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize