Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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