She's JV to your varsity
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
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I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
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He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.