i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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