literally had 100 drinks last night.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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