omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
