I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
When are your genitals available?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
