Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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