woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize