She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
