I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize