She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
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I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
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in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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